5yrs on..

i will never forget this day, 5 years ago today...
i will never forget the days leading up to this day or the days past this day, 5 years ago today..
Today, September 6th, but 2001 and a Thursday, was the day i lost one of my babies....

When we found out we were pregnant with baby number 3, we were over the moon with excitment...
Things at work had turned around, the worst boss in the history (that's a whole other story), that had made my life hell for 5yrs had been given the sack. That was the best news..
But, the wicked witch was still there and it was only the 2 of us running the club...
i had then stepped up from 25ish hours a week, to about 50hours a week...
i was getting exhusted & worn out and i was missing my family...
It wasn't too long after that, that i had noticed something wasn't right..
I had gone to my OB/GYN to start my checkups, on the Tuesday...
i had, had a spot that day, which i had never had with my other 2 pregnancies...
he told me that wasn't a good sign and sent me off for a blood test...
i couldn't comprehend what was happening... i went & had my blood tests done.
The results came back the next day, but things were much much worse..
i was really really spotting then, but not just spotting, it was much much worse...
My Dr rang, who was the nicest man ever, he had been with my previous 2 pregnancies & deliverys... My results showed my progesterone was sitting at 13 instead of around 300...
I was then booked in for the next day to have a curette & d&c...
It was the most heartbreaking thing i have ever gone through...

Our story that we told Taylor & Dan was that this baby just wasn't ready yet, it wasn't his/her time to join us...
it was then 4mths later that we found out we were pregnant again...
the first 12wks were extremely scary & then the next 26 (i was induced 10days early) were scary too... But, we welcomed a beautiful handsome man into our family... Jordan...
He was now ready to join our family...........

it was a huge chunk of bad luck that month...
its something that i'll never forget or get over i guess,
but i guess it paved the way for better things & times..

Sadly then, 5 days later, the world changed forever...
9/11
i was on the internet, chatting to a couple of American friends, when the news flash came over the telly... They were showing the footage of the first towers crash, when suddenly, the second tower had been hit...
Anyhow, everyone knows what happened and how terrible it was...
In my head & heart, that was an extremely terrible week. One that i don't want to have to witness ever again..xx

the candles you see is the candle i bought afterwards and kept for this date...
i decided to light little Rani's candle again tonight and sit next to my little candle too...

Thankyou for reading my story....
Take care.....xx